College Grads Share Their Biggest Regrets

College can be a transformative four years, but it is also just one chapter in life.

In interviews with college graduates, The New York Times explored some of the biggest regrets people had about their college experience, and how the hard-earned wisdom may help prospective college students avoid college regret.

“I FEEL LIKE I’M STILL CATCHING UP”

Benjamin Boniece, a postdoctoral researcher, attended Skidmore College from 2007 to 2011. Boniece says he chose Skidmore for its strong academics and “small school” environment.

“It wasn’t until I went to graduate school and worked at several universities that I realized Skidmore had left me severely underprepared,” Boniece says. “I still feel like I’m catching up.”

Boniece’s biggest regret, he says, is having the idea that only a small liberal arts school could provide him with a well-rounded education.

“If I could go back in time, I would have gone to a medium or larger school and tried to make the well-rounded thing happen on my own,” he says.

“COLLEGE IS NOT THAT IMPORTANT. IT’S NOT ESSENTIAL IN TERMS OF LEARNING WHO YOU ARE AND ACCEPTING YOURSELF.

Growing up in Hawaii, Irene Kern knew she wanted to get off the island for college. Kern, now a bartender and bar manager, ultimately decided on the University of Colorado, Boulder.

“Boulder was the farthest east I was willing to go, and I had family there,” Kern says. “When I visited the campus, it felt like what a college campus should be.”

But expectations didn’t line up with reality.

“Being half Chinese and passing as white, I found Boulder a really weird experience,” Kern says. “I would go to parties and be around a bunch of drunk white kids — not that there’s anything wrong with that — and people would say some really messed-up, racist things to me, thinking that I was one of them. I also went into my freshman year closeted, and I experienced lots of homophobia while I was trying to be straight.”

Kern’s advice is to not place so much pressure on finding yourself—and your people—in college.

“It wasn’t until I moved to San Francisco that I found my people — people who didn’t care what I majored in,” Kern says. “And when I started bartending, I was making a lot more money than I would have with a bachelor’s degree in sociology. In spite of what everybody else is doing and what all the adults in your life tell you, college is not that important. It’s not essential in terms of learning who you are and accepting yourself.”

Sources: The New York Times, The New York Times

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